Last month we shared that the best negotiators are almost always the best listeners.  This month we bring you Part II of Listening Skills and, we offer you A Rule to Remember -If you want to improve your listening skills, consider this: God gave you two ears and one mouth—use them in their respective proportions. To succeed in negotiations, you have to understand the needs, wants, and motivations of your counterpart. To understand, you must hear. To hear, you must listen.

Read our new column, Ask the Negotiator, and hear Peter's advice for Eric on how he can get in front of the decision maker.  Then, send your negotiation challenge to info@negotiatingguide.com.  If your challenge gets published, we'll send you our special edition Negotiation Mug, filled with sweet treats.                                        

Remember, almost everything in life is negotiable.

Peter B. Stark

Interactive skills ensure that you understand the messages your counterparts are communicating and acknowledge their feelings.  Interactive skills include clarifying, verifying and reflecting.

Click here to learn more about clarifying, verifying and reflecting

To create win-win outcomes, you must be empathetic.  If you properly construct your reflective response, your counterpart's natural reaction will be to provide more explanation and information. 

Click here to read tips you will find helpful in learning to be empathetic

Great listening does not come easily.  It is hard work.  There are two major types of listening skills: attentive and interactive.  The following attentive skills will help you uncover the true messages your counterparts are conveying.

Click here to read the last six attentive listening skills

Dear Peter,
I am in the floor-covering business. When I call on customers, I usually talk to the project manager, and we get along great. Then when I submit my proposal on a project, I sit down and go over my bid with the project manager, and again everything is great. But when the project manager reviews my proposal with his or her in-house team (owner, manager, etc.), I am not present to clarify the services and goods I am offering. This is a problem because bids are typically based on “standards,” and everyone uses different standards. My question is: How do I get to the meeting so I can demonstrate how my services and products are better than my competitors’?
 

Thank you,
Eric

Dear Eric,
You are in a tough spot because you never meet with the true buyer. Meeting with the project manager is the selling equivalent to meeting with a purchasing agent. Except in the retail industry, purchasing agents are usually just go-betweens who are buying for someone else. Although purchasing agents can seldom say yes, they almost always have the power to say no. It sounds like in your case, the project managers are just using you to get a second or third competitive bid. Unfortunately, it is difficult to make a living as a competitive bidder.

Three suggestions:

First, if you have no opportunity to meet with the owner or manager, simply pass on bidding. Too many people in this world need new flooring. Go find the ones who are willing to make a commitment to at least meet with you.

Second, with the project manager, you could try the tactic of Saying “No” and Sticking to Your Guns, telling the project manager, “Of course I am willing to bid the project as long as I have the opportunity to meet with the owner and manager to better understand their needs and present my proposal.” This powerful statement will save you a lot of wasted time on bidding projects you have no chance of winning. What do you have to lose? If you don’t meet with the owner or manager, you are not going to get the job anyway.

Finally, if neither of these tactics is your style, you could try a softer approach, using the strategy of Asking a Great Question. The next time you are asked to bid, you might say, “I am perplexed. Three times you have asked me to bid on one of your projects. Each time you have awarded the job to someone else. It does not look like you think we have a match. If I do bid again, what can I do to ensure that we can work together?”

Best Regards,
Peter Stark
 

Are you involved in a negotiation and not sure what strategies or tactics to use?  Send in your toughest negotiation challenge and our team of expert negotiators will outline a specific plan to ensure your success.  Please send your negotiation challenge to info@negotiatingguide.com.  If your challenge gets published, we'll send you our special edition Negotiation Mug, filled with sweet treats.                                          

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