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The way you ask a question is as
important as its content. To gain the maximum information
about your counterpart’s needs and motivations, you have to
structure your questions carefully. Following are several
key points that will help you gain accurate information.
1. Have a goal and a questioning plan. When you are
negotiating, it is important to have a goal in mind and a
questioning plan that will help you achieve that goal. If
you have ever been in a deposition, you know that attorneys
are masters at having both a goal and a questioning plan. A
lawyer will walk into the room with a legal pad full of
questions that are sequenced in a specific order to ensure
that the witnesses’ responses help solidify the lawyer’s
case.
What type of information will help you make a good decision?
How will you go about getting that information? Will you be
direct? Will you disguise your questions? Asking direct or
closed-ended questions is most helpful when you are trying
to confirm a deal point or gain a concession. Open-ended or
indirect questions are useful for gaining as much
information as possible. For example, when working with a
buyer, a direct question like “Do you have the go-ahead to
purchase this product in the current budget cycle?” would
provide you with a straight “yes” or “no” answer that would
help you with your sales forecast. An indirect question like
“Who else needs to be involved in making this type of
purchase decision?” would reveal who the real decision
makers in the company are.
A questioning plan will put you in the action mode and your
counterpart in the reaction mode. With your counterpart
reacting, you are in control of the negotiation and in a
better position to accomplish your goals.
2. Know your counterpart. The more you can find out
about your counterpart, the better you can target your
questions. For example, some people have a strong need to
build a relationship and do not like to address task-related
issues before relationship issues have been addressed. Most
often, a relationship-oriented person opens every
conversation by asking how you and your kids are, and maybe
discussing the weather or the score in last night’s baseball
game. The task-oriented person wants to get right down to
business. If you are a task-oriented person and your
counterpart is relationship-oriented, you may give the
impression of rudeness if you dive right into the
negotiation without addressing the amenities. On the other
hand, if you are a relationship-oriented person and your
counterpart is task-oriented, your efforts to initiate a
little “small talk” may be seen as wasting precious time.
Respecting your counterpart’s style creates a win-win
atmosphere.
What motivates your counterpart? What are her needs and
values? How does she approach social interactions? What is
her attitude toward time? A greater knowledge of these
issues will enable you to make your questions more targeted
and specific.
3. Move from the broad to the narrow. In the question
sequence, it is helpful to start with broad questions. Then,
as you gain answers to those, you can refine and hone your
questions to eventually yield specific information. For
example, “Did you keep maintenance records on your car?”
“Yes.” “What did you record?” “When I changed the oil and
replaced the tires.” “How often did you change your oil?”
“Every three thousand miles.” “What kind of oil did you
use?” and so on.
4. Use proper timing. We’ve all occasionally asked
the wrong question at the wrong time. It is important to be
sensitive to your counterpart’s needs and feelings. If your
counterpart finds your question offensive, two things
happen: (1) You do not gain the information you would have
with a properly timed question; and (2) your counterpart may
become reluctant to negotiate with you in the future. Asking
your husband how his diet is going while he is eating
dessert is an example of bad timing.
5. Build on previous responses. This point is similar
to the third point. As you gain more information, you can
make your questions more specific. Negotiators who use this
technique are always listening for information they can dive
into for more clarification. The more information they have,
the better decisions they can make. In the
made-for-television Columbo movies, Peter Falk’s character
is a master of this technique. “Just one more question,” he
says. “If you weren’t at the murder scene, how did you know
the weapon was a knife?”
6. Ask permission to ask a question. Asking
permission is the polite thing to do. It is also effective
because most people will not refuse you if you ask
permission. Finally, it starts the swing toward agreement.
Once your counterpart has granted you permission, he is more
likely to give you a complete answer. Lieutenant Columbo is
a master of this technique, too. He constantly returns to
the suspect and asks politely, “Can I ask just one more
question?”
7. After you ask a question, stop talking and listen.
Novice negotiators are uncomfortable with silence. Silence
is a void, and they feel an overwhelming need to fill it. In
fact, some negotiators will even try to answer the question
for their counterpart if there is no response. When you ask
a question, enjoy the golden silence and give your
counterpart ample time to formulate a response.
8. Take notes. If you are going to ask questions, we
encourage you to take notes. You do not need to take
everything down word for word, but capture enough detail to
enable you to recreate the negotiation later, recalling the
main points your counterpart made. Taking notes demonstrates
that you care about your counterpart’s thoughts and are
thorough in your investigations, and allows you to recall
information as the negotiation proceeds.
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